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Our favourite cheese jokes

Cheese jokes

  • A guy drove past me in his car and threw a lump of cheddar at me. I thought to myself "That's mature!"
  • What do you call a cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese!
  • Did you hear about the man who painted his wife? He Double Gloucester!
  • Why was the cheesemonger lopsided? He only had one Stilton!
  • Why can't you make clothes out of cheese? Because fromage frays!
  • What's a pirate's favourite cheese? CheddAaaaaarrrrrrgh!

We've heard a few more cheese jokes recently so thought we'd add them below. We think they are every bit as good as those above and should make you smile while enjoying your cheeseboard.

  • What's a Cornish pirate's favourite cheese? Yaaaaarg
  • What type of music does a cheesemonger listen to? R & Brie

We make no apologies for the cheesiness of any of the above and if you don't find them funny then that's your fault and you should eat more cheese as you're clearly not eating enough!

If you have a cheese joke of your own then please add it in the comments section below.

If you want to buy any of the cheeses mention above then you can do so in our online cheese shop and get 10% off your purchase with the code 'JOKE10'. Just enter the code at the checkout stage to redeem the discount.

Comments

christopher thomas

christopher thomas

How do you eat hot cheese. Caerphilly !

13 October 202011:43

Kerryn

Kerryn

What is cheese without a cracker? Crackerlakin What do you hear on a cheesy weather forecast? Rain with light Bries What is cheese's favorite TV channel? The Brie Brie C

11 September 202016:45

Mia Tallis

Mia Tallis

What cheese do you use to get a bear down from a tree? Camembert

24 October 201915:00

Finley Picken

Finley Picken

Aha cheese

4 October 201921:31

Paul Baker

Paul Baker

How do the Welsh eat their cheese? Caerphilly

21 August 201911:43

Katie

Katie

What do u say to a cow who gets stuck up a tree? Camembear

9 May 201920:17

Pixielex

Pixielex

What did the cheese say when it looked in the mirror? Halou-Mi!

13 April 201922:51

BobMonkeypimp

BobMonkeypimp

Why was the Babybel crying? Because of the Bishop's Finger.

13 March 201913:51

Cheese lover 69

Cheese lover 69

I would tell you a joke about margarita pizza.....But it's a bit cheesy!! ;)

6 March 201912:28

Harry Blathwayt

Harry Blathwayt

What did the old cheese say when he looked in the mirror? Oh noo, I’ve got Gruyere! Who do all cheeses work out to? Jane Fondue What is every cheeses favourite Christmas romcom? La Vache-ly Kind regards, Harry Blathwayt, Emmental City Lawyer

21 December 201817:17

Graeme

Graeme

Which cheese would you use to coax a bear down from a tree? Camembert Which kind of cheese do you use to disguise a small horse? Mascarpone What did the cheese say to itself in the mirror? Halloumi Did you hear about the explosion at the cheese factory? All that was left was de brie You gotta love Cheese jokes!!

15 November 201713:23

Mark

Mark

I just love all the cheese jokes here... But I bet there's Stil-tons more!

4 October 201722:04

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