Our favourite cheese jokes

  • 22 March 2017

Cheese jokes

  • A guy drove past me in his car and threw a lump of cheddar at me. I thought to myself "That's mature!"
  • What do you call a cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese!
  • Did you hear about the man who painted his wife? He Double Gloucester!
  • Why was the cheesemonger lopsided? He only had one Stilton!
  • Why can't you make clothes out of cheese? Because fromage frays!
  • What's a pirate's favourite cheese? CheddAaaaaarrrrrrgh!

We've heard a few more cheese jokes recently so thought we'd add them below. We think they are every bit as good as those above and should make you smile while enjoying your cheeseboard.

  • What's a Cornish pirate's favourite cheese? Yaaaaarg
  • What type of music does a cheesemonger listen to? R & Brie

We make no apologies for the cheesiness of any of the above and if you don't find them funny then that's your fault and you should eat more cheese as you're clearly not eating enough!

If you have a cheese joke of your own then please add it in the comments section below.

If you want to buy any of the cheeses mention above then you can do so in our online cheese shop and get 10% off your purchase with the code 'JOKE10'. Just enter the code at the checkout stage to redeem the discount.

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  • Mark
  • 4 Oct 2017
  • 10:04 pm

I just love all the cheese jokes here... But I bet there's Stil-tons more!

  • Graeme
  • 15 Nov 2017
  • 1:23 pm

Which cheese would you use to coax a bear down from a tree? Camembert Which kind of cheese do you use to disguise a small horse? Mascarpone What did the cheese say to itself in the mirror? Halloumi Did you hear about the explosion at the cheese factory? All that was left was de brie You gotta love Cheese jokes!!

  • Harry Blathwayt
  • 21 Dec 2018
  • 5:17 pm

What did the old cheese say when he looked in the mirror? Oh noo, I’ve got Gruyere! Who do all cheeses work out to? Jane Fondue What is every cheeses favourite Christmas romcom? La Vache-ly Kind regards, Harry Blathwayt, Emmental City Lawyer

  • Cheese lover 69
  • 6 Mar 2019
  • 12:28 pm

I would tell you a joke about margarita pizza.....But it's a bit cheesy!! ;)

  • BobMonkeypimp
  • 13 Mar 2019
  • 1:51 pm

Why was the Babybel crying? Because of the Bishop's Finger.

  • Pixielex
  • 13 Apr 2019
  • 10:51 pm

What did the cheese say when it looked in the mirror? Halou-Mi!

  • Katie
  • 9 May 2019
  • 8:17 pm

What do u say to a cow who gets stuck up a tree? Camembear

  • Paul Baker
  • 21 Aug 2019
  • 11:43 am

How do the Welsh eat their cheese? Caerphilly

  • Finley Picken
  • 4 Oct 2019
  • 9:31 pm

Aha cheese

  • Mia Tallis
  • 24 Oct 2019
  • 3:00 pm

What cheese do you use to get a bear down from a tree? Camembert

  • Kerryn
  • 11 Sep 2020
  • 4:45 pm

What is cheese without a cracker? Crackerlakin What do you hear on a cheesy weather forecast? Rain with light Bries What is cheese's favorite TV channel? The Brie Brie C

  • christopher thomas
  • 13 Oct 2020
  • 11:43 am

How do you eat hot cheese. Caerphilly !

  • Holly Briscoe
  • 8 Dec 2021
  • 4:52 pm

What cheese was found after an explosion in a Jamaican factory? De Brie

  • Cat
  • 18 Nov 2022
  • 12:03 am

What sort of cheese is MADE backwards? EDAM

  • Taya Leyman
  • 12 Dec 2022
  • 11:28 am

what do you call a female cheese rapper? Cardi Brie

  • Taya Leyman
  • 12 Dec 2022
  • 11:31 am

why did the cheese fall in love with the double boiler? because she melted his heart <3

  • Elliott H
  • 21 Apr 2023
  • 3:01 pm

What cheese can you hide a small horse in? Mascarpone

  • Elliott H
  • 25 Apr 2023
  • 12:43 pm

Why did Lewis Hamilton have too much cheese? He won the grand Brie

  • Elliott H
  • 25 Apr 2023
  • 12:45 pm

What’s a cheese’s favourite rapper? Cardi Brie

  • Ben G
  • 3 May 2023
  • 3:00 pm

Britney was scared, Britney Fears

  • Angus
  • 3 May 2023
  • 3:01 pm

Britney wrote a letter, Britney dears

  • Mark
  • 3 May 2023
  • 3:04 pm

Britney followed through, Shitney smears.

  • Jett
  • 28 Jul 2023
  • 5:29 am

Blake rundell has cheese in his bag ;)

  • Sir Bill Knackersley
  • 22 Sep 2023
  • 6:51 am

What is white and yellow, and fish all over? Nob cheese!

  • Rafe
  • 14 Feb 2024
  • 8:43 pm

What kind of bear likes cheese? Cheese bears!

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